Wednesday, August 31, 2005

It's not what you think

These images are not of some horrible, gory mauling or anything like that. These are photos from "Tomatina", the world's largest tomato fight that happens once a year in Madrid. About 40, 000 people attended the annual event this year.

Personally, I think it looks like a blast. What a great way to relieve stress. Unfortunately, I think the man or woman in the first pic has lost the fight. They got owned!

At noon, municipal trucks dumped about 130 tons of ripe, juicy plum tomatoes at the feet of adrenaline-charged crowds in town's main square. Within minutes the area was covered in red slime, and clouds of tomato sauce filled the air.

A rocket fired from a balcony signaled the fight's end one hour later, after which giddy participants hosed each other clean. Source

What a Horrible Mess!

I have no idea how they are going to get all the people from the Superdome to the Astrodome in Houston. The water is getting deeper. These people are waist deep trying to get there. What a horrible mess. The conditions inside are absolutely atrocious and yesterday someone committed suicide inside the building. I can't even imagine how horrible this would be. Then their off to the Houston Astrodome to live until? I can't imagine being in this predicament as so many are. It's so surreal and heart wrenching.

[Begin rant here]

It's completely devastating and all hell is breaking loose. Martial Law might possibly be the only way to get a hold of what's going on in New Orleans and elsewhere. There is no way to help the despair that is going on while there are thugs taking advantage of the situation and terrorizing all the people and stealing resources from the sick and needy.

I was watching MSNBC this morning and the reporter was doing his report and he stated that late the night before, a truck load full of men with guns drove up to them stopped and then drove on. Apparently, they lucked out and the menaces didn't see anything worth they spared robbing or killing them. I could tell from the reporter's voice that he was and still is very shook up over the incident.

This was not an isolated incident. They have gangs of them riding around and looting and destroying anything they can get to. It totally pisses me off that there is so much tragedy happening and all of these assholes decide to make it all worse. They should be thanking God that their even alive. Idiots.

A spokeswoman for Lousiana's governor says workers at Children's Hospital huddled with sick kids and waited for help to arrive as looters tried to break in. Help never arrived.

A city councilwoman says "The French Quarter has been attacked." She says "exhausted, scarce police" have to be diverted from search and rescue to try to control the looters.

Breaking into a Children's hospital. Niiiiice. I've seen videos of cop's trying to grab looter's in waist high water and them slipping through their fingers. There is simply not enough police there to handle rescue and recovery and dealing with jackasses like these ones.

Police said there were dozens of carjackings overnight, by desperate survivors trying to leave town or obtain supplies.

Somebody fired at a rescue helicopter Tuesday night, forcing its crew to abandon efforts to evacuate patients from a hospital, a state official said. Source

People are just stealing cars in a panic from other survivors? It's complete chaos. Why in the hell would you shoot at a rescue helicopter? Stealing and looting is bad enough, but this is turning into a war zone. It's time to bring in the Military and their guns. If they don't shoot the idiots...they can evacuate everyone else and leave all the looters, etc. with their new stolen television, no electricity, and let them decay with the snakes and the rats. "See you guys later. I'm sure you'll be fine with all the shit you took from the elderly and sick kids...some people may be back in a few months. Good luck with that." Now, there's a good idea for punishment. It's like hell...only worse.

[End rant here]

This is only going to get a shitload worse. My thoughts and prayers go out to all the people with friends, families and loved ones affected by this tragedy.

To donate or help you can contact the Red Cross here.

A Win for Team Aniston

The Brits have taken a poll to see which celebrity they wish they looked like and it would seem they are for Team Aniston all the way.

Jennifer Aniston was the top female with Brad Pitt leading the men. Angie did not even make the list. Ouch!

Can someone please explain to me how Pete "raging druggie, trashbag" Doherty would even be in the top million? Heroin chic must be making a huge comeback. That's like me saying I want to look like Courtney Love. Sky

Here are the lists in full:

Top Women:
1. Jennifer Aniston (28%)
2. Sienna Miller (11%)
3. Keira Knightley (11%)
4. Victoria Beckham (8%)
5. Charlotte Church (5%)
6. Jools Oliver (4%)
7. Kate Moss (3%)
8. Abi Titmuss (2%)

Top Men:
1. Brad Pitt (25%)
2. Jude Law (15%)
3.David Beckham (14%)
4. Robbie Williams (9%)
5. Rio Ferdinand (4%)
6 Calum Best (3%)
7. Gavin Henson (2%)
8. Pete Doherty (1%)

Skeletor Really Scares Me

Skeletor really freaks me out more and more each time I see him. I think he's even getting skinnier and his face is sinking in. All of his bones are protruding out of his chest. Someone needs to hold Marc Anthony down and feed him a sandwich. To think JLO might be preggers? Gasp!

The Cutest Hollywood Couple

Forget about TomKat and Brangelina and whoever else. Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling are the new "it" couple. These two are so adorable. They definitely had chemistry when they filmed "the Notebook" and now they say it's the real thing. A few months ago Ryan looked pretty darn happy when they reenacted their famous kiss for the MTV Movie awards. Really happy! Source

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Angelina Jolie's new Babysitter

I kind of feel bad for Brad Pitt. He didn't lose any money in his divorce, but it appears he is really hard up for cash. Considering him and Angelina adamantly deny having a romantic relationship, he must be the new baby sitter. What other explanation could there be?

Actually, it looks like they are ready to make their relationship public. Don't forget to act super surprised. Now, this crap has been obvious. What I want to know is Angelina really pregnant?

I Have to admit the baby bottle in his back pocket is super cute. Jennifer Aniston is not going to like these pics at all. Poor Jennifer. He didn't want to hurt her feelings?

The Hollywood couple have so far remained tight-lipped about their relationship, which started shortly after Brad's split from ex-wife Jennifer Aniston.

However, sources claim the 'Mr and Mrs Smith' co-stars will finally confess they are dating to famed US TV interviewer Barbara Walters.

An insider is quoted by Britain's The People newspaper as saying: "Brad and Angelina had not gone public as he wanted to get his divorce out of the way and not hurt ex-wife Jennifer's feelings.

Story femalefirst. Photos from JJB.

Dorothy's Slippers Stolen!

Someone stole the ruby red shoes worn by Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Isn't Halloween coming up soon? Return the shoes now!!! This isn't funny anymore. It happened late Saturday or early Sunday. Hmmm.

They say there isn't much evidence. Yeah, right. I think Inspector Clouseau could figure this one out. Sheesh! Just return the shoes and there will be no questions asked.

Police Chief Leigh Serfling said the slippers were stolen late Saturday or early Sunday. Someone entered the museum through a window and broke into the small display case holding the slippers.

"There's not a whole lot of evidence," Serfling said. "We're hoping that someone in the community has seen something."

Yahoo via ONTD

Monday, August 29, 2005

So this is what Rehab looks like

Well, Courtney Love is in rehab and cleaning up her act. She's taking up reading and going to the pool... in her undies...with her butt hanging out. I'm not even going to try and guess if that's a top or part of a nighty set.

Looking at these photos is enough reason for me to stay drunk for a very loooong time. Or, at the very least take up that nasty Vicodin addiction again. Sobriety doesn't look so good to me now for some reason.

The Big Uneasy

Scary stuff. Hopefully, lives will be spared and the Gulf can get back to normal quickly. Judging from these pictures though, it's going to take some time to even to get to anyone with all of the streets flooded.

I can't help but wonder how all those folks in the Superdome are fairing. That was pretty intense watching the news this morning and wondering if roof was going to collapse with 10,000 people inside. That's definitely not a little tear on the roof, as was first reported.

Unfortunately, I don't think Pat O'Brien's will be open tonight serving up their world famous Hurricane cocktails. Although, ironically, that's what I'd want to be slamming down if I was in this mess.

They are already estimating that Katrina will be the costliest storm to ever hit the United States.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

I'm a lot prettier???

Sly Stallone's mother, Jackie has revealed that she would like Angelina Jolie to play her in a movie about her life.

Has her experience in the Big Brother house gone to Jackie Stallone's head? The ageing star, still going strong at 82, has revealed who she wants to play her when her life story is made by son Sylvester.

And the lucky actress? Angelina Jolie.

Jackie said: "She's right to play me. We look similar, although I'm a lot prettier."

Yep, that's what she said. Unbelievable. I need a drink. Sky

Dorothy Update

I mean Tom Cruise update...sorry about that.

I would give anything to be a fly on the wall when Team Cruise's wheels spin into motion. The busiest man in Hollywood, and I'm NOT referring to the 100% heterosexual superstar, Tom Cruise, has been hard at work again. I am of course referring to Mr. Cruise's lawyer, Bertram Fields.

It must be stated that the picture of the dancer that I published on Thursday, is not Mr. Cruise but is his sister Cass. I knew that little girl seemed too pretty to be Tommy.

A letter that Defamer received cleared up this whole mess. Mr. Fields stated that under no circumstances should anyone make mention that Mr. Cruise dressed up as a girl on a regular basis. Who the hell said that? Well, I never said that. We only had two pictures to look at and I don't think anyone inferred that this was a daily thing. There is no proof of that. Maybe fifty or sixty times, maybe yesterday for God's sake...but I didn't see it. He could be sitting around in a French Maids oufit watching Nascar for all I know. I wonder if he's a Jeff Gordon fan?

Anyway, I didn't receive a letter, but here it goes. I Retract too. I'm not sure what I'm retracting...but, I retract dammit!

That being said, I will post a few super manly pictures of Tom Cruise so this can all be put to rest. Nothing quite screams heterosexual man as much as Top Gun...right? Hot! Have a great day!

Sorry about any confusion this may have caused. Read the letter to Defamer here.

Friday, August 26, 2005

What is happening here?

Juliette, I know you have a smokin little punk band now, but what the hell are you wearing? Did you get that bag from Qwest Communications at a tradeshow? I really thought my little brother threw away his prom jacket from 1974 a long time ago. Wow! I have no idea if those are black panties with an old t-shirt or what.

Then when I get to the tights, I'm suddenly having flashbacks of those old, horrible sci-fi movies they'd show on Mystery Science Theatre 3000. That pink is super bright. Where's your ray gun?

What are the kneepads for? Wait, forget I asked. Nevermind.

When I look at the boots and the tights, I suddenly feel the urge to sing the theme song from Scooby Doo. Whoa!

Sean Astin joins the cast of 24

Please tell me they were not filming 24 when this pic was shot. This kind of shit could be very traumatic and ugly in real time. It says that he is working at CTU. I already think he's going to be a bad guy because men in red speedo's could be considered a terrorist act. If nothing else... it's torture.
Sean Astin is segueing from the Shire to the CTU, joining the cast of Fox's "24." "Lord of the Rings" thesp will be a series regular when the 20th/Imagine TV-produced drama returns for its fifth season early next year....Variety

Sean Astin joins the cast of 24. Fox has added Sean Astin to the cast of 24 (20th/Imagine Television) as a regular, according to Variety. He will be part of the Counter Terrorist Unit. Astin joins Jean Smart, Brady Corbett and Connie Britton who are also all new regulars on the show when it re-launches on January 8 at 8pm. ONTD

Much Ado About Nothing

I have used a few famous phrases from Shakespeare to inform you of the following news:

In my mind's eye (Hamlet), I am literally puking (As You Like It) at the laughable (The Merchant of Venice) Jessica Simpson. This woman has proclaimed that she wants to be a serious actress and do Shakespeare at the Globe in London. Unbelievable. The bitch does a horrible 70's TV show-movie-remake and now she thinks she's Sir Anthony Hopkins for God's sake.

The only way the rest of us could possibly endure this, is if they were to drug (Macbeth; first use as a verb) everyone in the audience. Actually, seeing Jessica Simpson doing Shakespeare on drugs might be fun.

She is definitely living in a Fool's paradise (Romeo and Juliet), For goodness' sake (Henry VIII), if she truly believes this will ever happen. It's my Foregone conclusion (Othello) that she is, quite literally, the dumbest woman...ever. Link

Also, Jessica has made it very clear that she did not get famous riding Homer Simpson's coattail. Brainsnap

And, in related news, Jessica wants to put the kabbash on the rumor that she has an eating disorder like everyone else in Hollywood.

She says, "I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas.

"Are there people from Texas who are anorexic? I've never heard of one and that includes me." contactmusic

Okay Jessica. Even though Texas is the biggest state in the country we will just have to take your word for it. Especially since you have never heard of one. There must not be any anorexics in the entire state of Texas.

Thanks, for clearing that up so that people aren't thinking you got so skinny because of an eating disorder.

Hey, want to talk about your coke problem?

Site of the Day

This site has some of the funniest satire I have ever read. Right now all over the internet, people are wanting to kill Dr. Phil for making comments about Angelina Jolie in this article. I honestly don't know which is funnier, the articles themselves...or the people buying into it. Endless entertainment.

Keanu Reeves Can't Believe Diane Keaton Is 59
By Chip Hilton
Aug 26,
2005, 09:33

LOS ANGELES - Keanu Reeves is privately telling friends he was stunned when he discovered that Diane Keaton, with whom he has been linked romantically, "is like way older" than he is.

When I read in US Weekly the other day that she was fifty-nine," Reeves told one acquaintance, "I was like, 'whoa, dude, no way she's old enough to be my mother.' Being with somebody that old is like committing incest, only you're not related."

Reeves and Keaton met three years ago on the set of Something's Gotta Give in which they appeared with Jack Nicholson and Amanda Peet. Reeves, 40, admits he was attracted to Keaton during their romantic encounters onscreen. He concluded, however, that she was too old for him because she played a fifty-something writer in the film who dumps Reeves for Nicholson. He didn't pursue his interest in Keaton until Nicholson had told him she was in her early thirties."

I was just messing with his head," said Nicholson. "I didn't think the doofus would believe me. I mean, the broad doesn't look bad for her age, but she was spending five hours in make up every morning, and that wasn't her keister in the nude scene."

Postcards From the Pug Bus Link

Good Looking Guy?

Since when does gay man=good looking guy? Is this some new code terminology I didn't know about?

Now, I also happen to know that when my boyfriend has a "boy's night out", he is not hanging out and dancing with his friends in gay bars like Gal Reynolds does. I'm just sayin'.

"Al is great. He gets a hard time in the press because he's a good-looking guy who, they say, is not with her because he loves her. But he takes it in stride and says: "baby, when they stop talking about me, I've got problems." They're best friends, the best of partners, and I wish they'd stop giving them a hard time."

- Vivica A. Fox on Al Reynolds in OK! magazine

Via Perez

Bits and Pieces

  • Working in a gas station would suck these days.
  • Is it even possible for things to get any worse? What a mess!
  • I bet you do. Good friends? Uh, huh.
  • Nothing like a bunch of old geezers making penis jokes.
  • First it was Iron U2. Sharon Osbourne is on a rampage.
  • He's a boring and horny old man, if you ask me.
  • Kate is so beautiful and amazing. She's just amazing. Does this sound familiar? Can these guys come up with a few new adjectives to describe their beards? Geez!
  • Scary. Like Jennifer Aniston needs any more crap right now.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Friend of Dorothy

Surprise! Little Tom Cruise used to like to dress up as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and other girls. I'd like to say that's pretty normal and that all my straight male friends did that as a kid...but, I'd be lying of course. The irony of Mr. FOD dressing up as Dorothy.

Loves it!


Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Desperate Indeed!

Good Lord! This woman is a total trainwreck. It's not bad enough that all the gals on the show hate her guts, she's considered hiring male prostitutes so she can get laid? WTF? Will someone get this woman a hamburger or something? What is the matter with these women in Hollywood? Oh, and she's all pissed off at everyone else for noticing she has a problem.

Teri, I saw the interview with Diane Sawyer where you clearly stated you never exercised or dieted. Blah, blah, blah. You even shared your famous chocolate chip cookie recipe with the world. Is that the last time you ate?

I realize everytime you open your mouth...something stupid comes out. So, you may be keeping it tightly closed for a reason. However, just for fun shove a sandwich or something in there. Hello? Karen Carpenter...duh.

Bits and Pieces

  • Something's Gotta Give! Like Keanu Reeves and Diane Keaton being an
  • Yeah, this sounds like a marriage that will be made in heaven.
  • Denis is happy and so am I! Rescue Me has been picked up for Season 3. Source
  • Courtney Love has a little crack baby on the way. Niiiiice!
  • This woman is the biggest idiot on the planet!
  • Sharon Osbourne let's Iron Maiden have it! Source
  • Oh, no! Not Kathleen Turner too?

It's Finally Over!

It's official, the marriage of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston is in the history books. Maybe Brad and Angelina will come public with their little fling now. Surprise! Everyone already knows about it. Now, Brad and Angelina can shove their relationship down Jennifer's throat. Oh wait, they've been doing that all along. Nevermind.

Angelina is saying that her and Brad are planning to get married. There are also rumors that she is pregnant with a little baby Pitt. Wow! They sure didn't wait for the ink to dry. I'm sure they will come public any day now, and we can all act super shocked. Maybe Brad is in charge of picking out the bridesmaids dresses since Angelina is so busy with the kids. At least we hope that's the explanation for these pics. Personally, I think it's a little flashy. That's just me.


Breaking News!

Angelina Jolie does in fact have one flaw. Yep, it's true. This was just a bad picture. Probably the only bad one she's taken...ever.

Yes, that is in fact a pimple on her chin. It's not Photoshopped. I swear!

On a sidenote, little Zahara looks happy and much healthier then she did when we first saw her. What a cute little girl!

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Natasha Lyonne's Downward Spiral

I just loved her in "The Slum's of Beverly Hills" and she quickly went from becoming a great actress, to making Tara Reid and Courtney Love look like the Doublemint Twins.

In April she started doing crazy crap and threatened to molest her neighbors dog. That was the beginning of the end. Her landlord, and friend, Michael Rappaport had to throw her of an apartment she was leasing from him.

In an unexplained fit of rage, the 26-year-old actress stormed into her neighbor's Manhattan apartment and then threatened the family pet. Lyonne allegedly grabbed the pooch and screamed at her neighbor, "I'm going to sexually molest your dog." She also tore a mirror from the apartment wall before other tenants called the police and had her arrested.

In April a warrant for her arrest was issued after she failed to appear in court regarding the neighbor/dog incident. After that she basically went missing. In July, someone had spotted her strolling around the streets of NY, in a daze and mumbling to herself. Gawker

Yesterday, she was found in the ICU unit of a hospital in NY. She is in horrible shape. Just sad.

Drugs. Disease. It's a true Hollywood tragedy.

She rose to stardom in American Pie, but now actress Natasha Lyonne is fighting for her life. The New York Post broke the story that the missing actress had been found. Natasha, 26, is struggling to survive in New York City's Beth Israel Hospital intensive care.

Reportedly, Natasha is suffering from hepatitis C, a heart infection, a collapsed lung and is covered in track marks.

She's also undergoing methadone treatment—typically used to help heroin users. msnbc

Her whole sordid history is laid out here.

Friday, August 19, 2005

P Something?

Break it Down
I am going to try and break down an interview so that the real, true and clear message can be understood. Some of these famous people have problems with their communication skills. So, I am here to help.

Recently the Rap mogul, producer, actor, whatever, Sean-john, a.k.a Sean Combs, a.k.a. Sean "P" Combs, a.k.a. Sean Puff Daddy, a.k.a Sean Puffy Combs, a.k.a. Puff Daddy, a.k.a. Mr. Combs, a.k.a. P. Diddy, a.k.a. WTF?, decided to change his name...again. What a GD good idea. He wanted to eliminate all of the confusion. Less confusion= changing your name for the upteenth time. Good God, like we need any more confusion. For cryin' out loud it would have been easier if he changed his name to a symbol like Prince did. But, then he'd be known as the artist formely known as the guy who's effin name nobody could ever GD remember.

I hope this makes it all a little clearer for everyone. The following is an interview he made to justify why he is changing his name again:

U.S. rapper Sean "P Diddy" Combs is changing his name again - by dropping the "P". Combs said he now wanted to be known just as "Diddy" as his old name was causing confusion and he wanted to "simplify things".

How the hell does dropping the "P" out of Sean "P Diddy" Combs leave only "Diddy"? WTF? Does that mean Sean "Diddy" Combs? Or, just "Diddy Combs? OKay, I can't help with this one. Moving along.

The 35-year-old singer and producer has already changed his nickname once - from Puff Daddy to P Diddy in 2001. The change forms part of a publicity campaign for the MTV Awards, which Diddy is hosting later this month.

"Uncomfortable" He told the New York Post that his name was even starting to confuse himself.

This means that when he said "what's my name...bitch?...he really meant it! Unless he was just talking dirty in the sack. He may have needed to remember his name because he screams out his own name during sex. Not sure. I'll move along.

"Nobody knew what to call me. I'd notice that people were uncomfortable when I'd meet them for the first time, and then they'd ask me what they should call me," he said. "I even started to get confused myself - and when I'd called someone on the telephone it took me a long time to explain who I was. Too long."

Okay. I will attempt to display what a typical phone conversation might go like.

Diddy: Hey, whaz up cuz? It's me Sean.

Individual: Who?
Diddy: P

Individual: Who?
Diddy: P!P!P!P!

Individual: Look asshole I could care less about whether or not you need to use the John. Freak!
Diddy: Wait, wait don't hang up. It's Puffy!

Individual: Puffy? What the hell? Look here you sick f**ck! I don't want to hear about your puffy johnson and how badly you need to take a piss. Moron.
Diddy: Puff daddy!!!!

Individual: Who the hell are you calling Daddy?
Diddy: Wait! Wait. Wait! *sigh*Combs, man.

Individual: Dude, you have got the wrong number. I am not a Pharmacist...nor have I had crabs or whatever else your bitchin about. They might have combs for crabs. I always thought it was for lice. I don't know. Good luck with that man. *CLICK*

Diddy: Shit

He added: "One word. Five letters. Period."

So there you have it! I hope I cleared some stuff up. Actually, I was probably of no help whatsoever. I'll just wait until he does the MTV awards and see what they call him when they announce his new GD name.


28 Days...Again

Courtney Love was in court today. Nothing new there. The judge ordered her to spend 28 days in rehab. Is the 47th time a "charm" in rehab? Anyway good luck with that. She is really a mess. I kind of feel bad for her actually, and I never said that before.

This last picture was taken...the previous time she was ordered to rehab. It looked pretty rock bottom to me. I thought rock bottom was rock bottom. How many times can a person hit rock bottom?

"I think that you need to hit rock bottom before you make a decision about what you're going to do in the future," Superior Court Judge Rand Rubin told the sobbing Love.

She was in court for allegedly being under the influence of a controlled substance, which wasn't identified.

Love's voice cracked as she said, "Yes, your honor," when asked by Rubin if she understood she was admitting to three probation violations. She is on probation in three separate cases.