Sean Lennon is looking for love

John Lennon's son Sean wants a girlfriend for the New Year.

The songwriter claims he is "completely miserable" and wants a beautiful woman who has a high IQ, is honest and between the ages of 18 and 45.

The 30-year-old also quipped she must have no psychological disorders or deformities.He told America's New York Post newspaper: "Any girl who is interested must simply be born female and between the ages of 18 and 45.

"They must have an IQ above 130 and they must be honest. They must not have any clinical, psychological disorders and a kind heart. Clearly beautiful - but beauty on the inside is more important - but no deformities, third legs, fifth nipples. femalefirst

I think he left out a very important part of his listing. I'm pretty sure he did it on purpose though. If he was to mention "Must get my mother's approval", that would scare the crap out of most of the female population. Not to mention, the girl would have to be under 18 and have a very low IQ, to not be thinking about that little tidbit.

Does this mean Clay Aiken is NOT gay?

I'm still a little confused. jjb

Uh...Paris, I think there's a cream for that

She is beyond gross!!! gossiprocks

Back to the Grind

Hope everyone had a nice Holiday! For those of you who are not exactly ready to be back to work and have a little extra time on your hands, CBS is playing a few comedy shows for our enjoyment via Yahoo. You can watch two episodes of Two" and a Half Men" and "How I Met Your Mother,".

Works for me. Did anyone really want to go back to work and work? Nah, I didn't think so.

Watch the shows here.

Happy Holidays to All!

I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday. I will be partaking in the Raiders/Broncos game Saturday and having many, many beers. The rest of the time I will be doing a whole lot of nothing, which will be wonderful. Be back Tuesday. Go Broncos!!!

Kevin Federline is a Pig!

Kevin tells Britney to divorce him

Britney Spears has told Kevin Federline he must give up marijuana, end the clubbing and drop hangers-on who are helping him spend her money. He hasn't agreed, telling her to go ahead and divorce him -- because he'll have plenty of money even if they part. He's also threatened to fight for custody of their son, Sean Preston, and to write a tell-all book about her. It's rumoured, too, he's been pestering former girlfriend Shar Jackson, mother of two of his children, to have him back. So far, she has refused. Britney is described as being in emotional turmoil and being propped up by her mother and brother as divorce papers are prepared. It's estimated she's spent nearly $10 million US on Kevin, counting the cost of their mansion, a recording studio, clothes, golf gear, flashy cars and bills he's run up. His take, if they part, will be about $2.5 million.

Source

Celebrity Holiday Greetings

jjb

Tony Dungy's son dead at 18

LUTZ, Fla - James Dungy, the 18-year-old son of Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy, was found dead of an apparent suicide in his Tampa-area apartment early Thursday, the sheriff's office said.

Indianapolis Colts president Bill Polian reacts to the tragic and sudden death of James Dungy, the 18-year-old son of head coach Tony Dungy. James Dungy's girlfriend found him when she returned to the Campus Lodge Apartments at about 1:30 a.m., Hillsborough County Sheriff's spokeswoman Debbie Carter said.

"Based on evidence at the scene, indications are that this death appears to be a suicide," Carter said. "There is no evidence to contradict that at this time."

Pretty sad situatuion. He has quite a unique myspace page. Raiders, dope, guns and gangsta rap stuff. Not sure what to think about all of this. It's a sad time for the Dungy family.

Story. James Dungy's myspace page here. Via Fark.

Santa Scares Me

The Pope has a pretty evil looking grin going on here.

Pope Benedict XVI dons a red velvet Christmas hat with white ermine trim for his weekly general audience(AFP/Vincenzo Pinto)

yahoo

Kenny Chesney Single Again

Renee Zellweger’s marriage to country crooner Kenny Chesney never existed — at least in the eyes of the law.

The couple’s union has been annulled by the Los Angeles Superior Court, according to documents obtained this week by the television show “Extra.” Publicists for Zellweger and Chesney did not return calls to The Associated Press on Wednesday.

msnbc

Kenny look at the bright side...football season is almost over. Soon Peyton will be all yours. First, the Broncos need to beat the Colts in the playoffs and then he will be done with football until next year. Maybe you can help us out with that. I meant, maybe he would enjoy your company. The Broncos don't need any help. I recommend hot oils and staying up really late having pillow fights the night before the AFC Championship game. Thanks.

The Prez all Liquored Up

I guess I just never really noticed because I'm normally pretty blasted too. Sounds like everything is under control though...from what I could understand.

From The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson via ifilm.

Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson out on the town

Good grief! He looks like an obnoxious pig and she looks totally baked. How classy to wear a wife beater out to dinner, Ala K-fed. Gee...wonder what the guy in the second pic is staring at. They belong together. Forever.

Source

Is Anyone Else Feeling Like This?

Happy Birthday Kiefer!

The sexiest man on the planet turns 39 today!

A Message from the Webmaster

I have been really busy with this whole holiday rush thing, not to mention a head cold from hell...but now I am back and ready to post more useless crap for everyone's enjoyment.

Happy Holidays!

Poor Pooh

They are taking Christopher Robin away from Winnie the Pooh and replacing him with a girl. Why do people always have to @#%! with things? It was fine for 8o years, just leave it alone. If they are going to change it...they could have put Pooh with Stan from South Park. That would be hot!

The Walt Disney Company has decided to pair Pooh up with a red-haired six-year-old tomboy for its 2007 series, newspaper USA Today reported.

Preston Kevin Lewis, director of the Pooh franchise, told Reuters: "Trust, friendship and happiness - Pooh doesn't lose any of those things, it just changes how we talk about him."

But that is unlikely to please Pooh purists, who can point out that the original stories were written specifically for Milne's son, Christopher Robin Milne.

BBC

Dancing with the Stars 2

I might have to watch this crap this year. I actually know who most of these people are. I really think it's sad to see Jerry Rice doing this though. I had read about this on deadspin, but I kind of didn't want to believe it. He should be doing ESPN or coaching, or something. He was the greatest Wide Receiver to play the game. Series premieres January, 5th on ABC.

Jerry Rice - Wide receiver
Tatum O'Neal - Oscar winning actress
George Hamilton - Tanned actor
Stacy Kiebler - WWE performer
Giselle Fernandez - Journalist
Romeo - Hip-Hop artist
Tia Carrere - Actress
Kenny Mayne - ESPN correspondent
Drew Lachey - Brother of Nick Lachey
Lisa Rinna - Former Soap star and current Soapnet host

Source dlisted

Brokeback Mountain is finally here!

I cannot wait to see this movie. Unfortunately, for me, I'll have to wait until after the holidays. If anyone sees it soon, let me know what you thought. This morning on GMA, Joel Siegel had this to say:

"Brokeback Mountain" may well be the most-nominated film this Oscar season. With nods for Michelle Williams for supporting actress, co-star Gyllenhaal and director Ang Lee. Ledger's my favorite to win Best Actor. Grade: A."

The ******* Holiday Party

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4th November 2005
RE: Christmas Party:
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols ... please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the Managing Director shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The Managing Director will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Pauline

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th November 2005
RE: Holiday Party:
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, 'though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party' . The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Pauline.

FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th November 2005
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believes $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline.

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th November 2005
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food ... we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first.. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

Pauline.

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 8 November 2005
RE: The ******** Holiday Party.
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!! I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die.

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources
Director
DATE: 9th November 2005
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.

Thanks to Jeri for this one.

Please Go Away Mariah

Dear Miss Carey,

Please go away. The very sight of you literally makes me want to puke up my spleen. You just had to make that comeback so that we would be forced to see you every day from now until the Grammy's. Thanks a lot.

First, you decide to make yourself look like such a charitable, caring person when you were photographed with a homeless guy. The very same homeless guy that did not want his picture taken with you. You also didn't even hand the guy ten bucks for a bottle of cheap brandy. Bitch.

Second, you have a great voice but you really should stick to singing. No one wants to hear you speak about anything. Especially, when you read Peter Pan to the kids, all the while pretending to know how to read. I don't think that you talk about anything other than yourself. In fact, I'm pretty sure you don't. When you do open your mouth, you say the stupidest crap like, "Butterflies are always following me, everywhere I go." Awww, that's really special. Does your little world consist of puppy dogs and unicorns? No wonder why you feel at home talking about Never, Never Land with the kids. Idiot.

Third of all, now you can't even drink for yourself? Does someone feed you and clean up after you when you use the...uh, restroom? By the look on this woman's face, I am guessing she is seriously considering the idea of stabbing you in the jugular vein with that straw. She literally looks like she would rather be standing at the Gates of Hell than to be doing whatever the hell her job is for you.

In conclusion, please consider me for the job opening left vacant by the woman seen in the following photos.

Sincerely,
Evie

Photos from jjb.

Bitchin' Christmas Light Show

DEERFIELD TWP. — Sheriff's deputies asked the owner who lit up his house with 25,000 Christmas lights synched to music to turn off the display after a traffic accident Tuesday night.

Deerfield Twp. resident Carson Williams agreed to shut down his holiday decorations indefinitely.

Williams told a Cincinnati television station that sheriff's deputies could not reach the traffic accident because of the traffic lined up in his neighborhood. More

Source Video from ifilm

How Paris Hilton Stays Thin

CHIP's Remake

Swell. Huge surprise here. Yet another re-make of a cheesy 70's television show. To make matters worse, Wilmer Valderrama will be playing the role of "Ponch" which was made famous by Erik Estrada. Like he needs his ego to get any bigger.

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Wilmer Valderrama who plays Fez on "That '70s Show," will star as motorcycle cop Ponch in a big-screen version of "CHiPs."

Warner Bros. Pictures, which recently brought TV staples "Starsky & Hutch" and "The Dukes of Hazzard" to theaters with much success, has just acquired the rights for the series.

Yahoo

Nicole Ritchie and DJ AM Call it Quits

I could not believe these two would be the next celebrity couple to end it. They always seemed so in love and happy. There wasn't even any signs of trouble with these them. They were photographed this week shopping for Christmas trees. There hasn't been much in the way of an explanation from either side. However, according to Perezhilton.com it was Adam's idea to end the relationship.

"Adam dumped Nicole," echoed our sources.

And while they were all able to agree on that, the cause of the split was divided into two camps.

"Adam was fed up with Nicole," said one source. "Her issues with her weight, I'm reluctant to say 'anorexia', caused her behavior to be very erratic and moody lately."

Another source said that Adam discovered some troubling news about his girlfriend.

"A.M. has a residency in Vegas, where he goes to spin every weekend," said the other source. "And, when the cat's away, the mouse will play. Adam found out that Nicole was 'partying' when he was away, and he does not tolerate that."

Regardless, the only two people who will ever know the real reason behind the split are Adam and Nicole. And, we wish them well, sincerely.

Perez

Eminem Back with Ex-wife

Eminem and his estranged wife have reconciled and are considering getting married again. Either he has really grown up and they are truly meant for each other, or he is completly out of ideas for new lyrics and needs her as his muse.

After Kimberly tried to kill herself and was jailed for cocaine possession, Eminem gained custody of their daughter Haile Jade, now 10.

On last year's Encore album, he dedicated track Puke to his ex, calling her a "coke-head" and rapping: "I hope you die" and "Everytime I think of you, I puke."

And even before their divorce, Eminem sang on his track Kim of wanting her dead.
But it doesn't seem to have stopped the couple finding true love again.

The rapper, 33, went into drug rehab in August, claiming to be addicted to sleeping pills.

sky

Ten Reasons to Drink During the Holidays

• You can tolerate your in-laws

• Beer goggles -- who said the holidays have to be lonely?

• Why eat your calories when you can drink them?

• You give the best gift...alcohol

• New Year's resolutions seem attainable when you're drunk

• You love everyone...and everyone loves you

• Be the funny guy at the party

• Drinking in winter means staying warm...or at least feeling like you are

• You bring spirit to the occasion, literally

• The holidays go by much quicker

forbes

Relaxing Work Environment

I Should Be Dead By Now

After viewing these pictures I am feeling like I should be dead now as well. Or, at least wishing I was.

What the hell is the matter with Dennis Rodman? He is like the weirdest SOB on the planet. If you look up Attention Whore in the dictionary there would be his picture right next to it.

Dennis Rodman showed up at for a book signing at the Hard Rock Hotel the other day like this. At another signing, he arrived in a hearse.

Also, last month while he was out promoting his book "I Should Be Dead By Now" he made an appearance on the Howard Stern show. He proceeded to tell a story about how he fulfilled a bride-to-be's request to be her last sexual encounter before marriage.

I'm sure her husband is thrilled to be taking STD meds on a monthly basis. If he only knew.

Apparently, a few years back Dennis was out carousing at the Mirage when he began partying heavily with one particular bachelorette group.

At the end of the evening, during the wee hours, Rodman found himself upstairs with the bride-to-be, fulfilling her request for one last sexual conquest before she tied the knot.

So if you are a bride to be, or a groom in waiting, and the Mirage is thrown around as a possible bachelorette party locale--look out.

Source

CU Coach Getting the Axe

Hey, does this mean we really don't have to go play in that pesky bowl game against Clemson? I think last weeks 70-3 schlacking from Texas and losing at home to f*ckin Nebraska was enough punishment.

BOULDER - 9NEWS has learned the University of Colorado does not plan to bring head football coach Gary Barnett back next season.

The Buffs finished Barnett's 7th season with losses in three straight Big 12 games, quickly turning a 7-2 season into 7-5. In those last three games to Iowa State, Nebraska and Texas, CU lost by a combined score of 130-22.

The final two were the most embarrassing as both were on national TV and CU managed to score just 3 points in each game.

CU will play Clemson in the Champs Sports Bowl in Orlando on December 27.

9news

Another Hollywood Couple Calls It Quits

TMZ has learned that actor Johnathon Schaech has filed for divorce from his wife, 'Married with Children' star Christina Applegate.The papers, filed today in Los Angeles Superior Court, cite irreconcilable differences as reason for the split.

TMZ has also learned that Schaech, the star of the film "That Thing You Do," is represented by high profile divorce attorney Laura Wasser.

Applegate, star of such films as "The Sweetest Thing" and "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy," was most recently seen starring on Broadway in "Sweet Charity."
tmz

Hmmm. Something about this seems a little strange to me. I always thought they were a great couple. He has always shot my gaydar off the charts and I read somewhere he was a closeted FOD. A little more dirt was revealed and there's a possibility she was cheating on him.

Is he Bi? Was she sleeping around? Both? Who knows? Her cheating on him just may be the case. He did this super fast and has got himself a badass attorney.

More dirt on this over at dlisted.

March Madness Free on the Net!

Josh, your Christmas present has come early! Very cool! It looks like productivity in the workplace will take a major dive during the month of March. I will be able to see how crappy I'm doing in the pool in real time. Lucky me.

For two years, Manhattan athletic director Bob Byrnes is lucky to have heard alumni complaints. It was the natural frustration of graduates who couldn't make the trip to the basketball tournament to see the Jaspers play in person.

Instead, Manhattan fans had to catch the game on television in the middle of the day or, if out of market, pay for an internet broadcast or DirecTV.

"When you're in the tournament, people do all kinds of gymnastics to try and get the game," Byrnes said.

This year it all just got a little bit easier, especially for diehard fans who inexplicably decide to spend the day at work with NCAA March Madness' on Demand, a streaming webcast.

CBS had been offering the games online as part of a subscription, but this year the NCAA Tournament will be available for free at NCAAsports.com.

yahoo

Valerie Bertinelli Divorcing Eddie Van Halen

LOS ANGELES - Valerie Bertinelli and her rock star husband, Eddie Van Halen, are divorcing after 24 years of marriage, Bertinelli’s publicist confirmed Tuesday.

“Yes, that’s true. They have been separated for four years and it’s amicable,” Bertinelli spokeswoman Heidi Schaeffer told The Associated Press. She said the actress would have no further comment.

A divorce petition that Bertinelli, 45, filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on Tuesday cited irreconcilable differences. msnbc

Ah, the good old days. I remember when Van Halen was the hottest band on the planet. Now, they are so desperate to find a lead singer, they are apparently following in Rock Star:INXS's footsteps. Sad.

The Circus is in Town!

Holy hell! The circus would be far less traumatic on my eyes. This is from the Billboard Music Awards.

Pammy wouldn't look quite so yellow if she was photographed with the guy in the yellow sweater who is dressed as a golfer on crack. And, Gwen WTF is on your head and why did you wear your flippin bath robe? So, many questions.

Oh, and Carrot Top scares the shit out of me. I could not even imagine seeing his stand-up routine. I couldn't possibly think he is funny when I'm swallowing my whole Xanax bottle out of sheer terror.

gossiprocks

24 Season 5 Prequel!!!

24 Season 4 DVD set comes out today. Just like last year, there is a 10 minute prequel in the disk set that contains some info as to what events took place between seasons. Since none of us want to wait, I took it upon myself to hunt it down. The link is a Spanish fansite and has subtitles in Spanish, but it was the only one I could find today. Scroll down to the bottom right. Click on the picture with Jack with gnarly long hair titled "Precuela Subtitulada". Enjoy!

Source 24la.net. Watch the video here!

Update
Warning: Please be aware that during a portion of this clip that Kiefer has a mullet. Yep, a mullet. It was quite frightening.

Amazon has a 35% off deal on Season 4. I'll probably pick my copy up this weekend.