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BRITNEY GIVES UP FRITOS

Talk about pre-birth jitters! As BRITNEY SPEARS exited a Malibu market with Frito corn chip into her mouth — then stared at it, eyes bulging and body trembling! "What's wrong?" asked Jamie Lynn. Wailed Britney, "Everything is wrong! Look at this Frito... it's shaped like a TWO-HEADED BABY! This is a sign... an omen!" Jamie Lynn tried to calm her, but Britney was inconsolable until sis snapped, "You're creeping me out — and actually, it looks more like a heart than anything else!" Britney flung the chip down, crushed it under her flip-flop and sighed, "No more Fritos until this baby is born!"

I thought it was Cheetos she couldn't live without. Oh well, I don't know which is more amazing...the fact that she gave up fritos...or the fact that she smashed that shit on the floor. That crap would have sold on ebay for millions. Idiot!

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