Mike Tyson Admits He's a Little Piece of Shit

He also said something about wanting to be pissed on. Okay. That isn't exactly what he said. Close enough though. No word on whether he has finally admitted he's a stupid, cannibalistic, pychotic, woman abusing, rapist, yet. Baby steps people. Baby steps.

"When I think about the women I have slept with, I think to myself, 'These women must go out with anybody if they have got money, because I wouldn't go out with me.

"I'm a f**king dwarf!

"Everyone in my family is 6 feet. What happened to me?

"I'm a tree stump. A fire hydrant. People p**s on fire hydrants, man!"

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I'm not exactly sure how him thinking he's a dwarf led to him being a fire hydrant. I'm trying not to think too hard about that segue because it's giving me a headache. That and if it made sense to me...I'd be done. Also, isn't it dogs that piss on fire hydrants? I didn't know that was a normal thing for people to do. I'm just sayin'.