Friday, January 06, 2006

Star Jones is out of her mind!

The following post may cause diarrhea, vomiting, and psychological trauma.

Good grief I've heard it all now. Star Jones is going to be giving people relationship and sex advice. That would be like taking sobriety lessons from Pete Dougherty. She gets into all the lovey-dovey details about her and Big Gay Al's love life. Here's a little snippet about when they first met:

At a party on Nov. 13, 2003, a man took my arm and said, "You're not just going to pass me by." This man with skin the color of cooked butter, the most beautiful lips and the deepest brown eyes on the planet continued, "I saw you once at a party five years ago and was too hesitant to approach you, but I'm braver this time." I was charmed out of my wits. I looked into those chocolate eyes, and I literally heard a bell ring...just like my mother said it would.

That was not a bell, Star. It was your gaydar beeping out of control. Dumbass!

However, things are heating up for Miss Jones Reynolds, who starting Monday is also going to be the new "love coach" for AOL, where she will dispense advice about a range of sexy subject matter that contributes to her shining lifestyle.

"I'm not an advice columnist. I'm not a diet specialist," she says. "I'm pretty good at love and romance because my husband and I have that down to a science, which is probably why I'm the new AOL love coach. Isn't that hot?"

Um. No

She's online for workshops on how to shine in the bedroom. "It's not about me, me, me, me, me. It's not about Star puts her right leg over her left shoulder and that's what makes her sexy," she says. "It might be kind of hot, but it wouldn't make me sexy."
WTF? Did she really just say her "right leg over her left shoulder". The thought of getting bedroom advice from her makes me want to wretch. Not to mention the visual I am having which is completely wrong on so many levels.

More of this crap here and here. Oh, and she's on 20/20 tonight if you want more.


At 9:21 AM, Blogger markus said...

ewwwwwwwwwww! that's icky!


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