Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Find Your "Soul Mate"

The newest dating trend is to host or attend "eye gazing" parties in order to find your soul mate. You begin with a quick introduction and then you stare at someone else's eyes for three minutes. And, whammo...if your lucky, you find your true love.

Now, I don't really believe in this whole notion. In fact, I'm pretty sure I don't believe in love at first site either. I'm also pretty sure that when you finally have sparks fly and get romantically involved with the man of your dreams, after knowing him for years and years, having everything in common...you're pretty much fucked. It seems so right at the time and the whole world is filled with puppies and unicorns and all that lovey-dovey stuff. Ah, what a feeling!

But, just when you think think you've found "Mr. Right", it's all total bullshit...especially if the damn Broncos lost the AFC Championship game and alcohol was involved on that particular day. Somehow, that nullifies all the events of the previous day as if they had never happened. Kind of like the way Superman can turn back time by flying around the earth and erase events and change outcomes. It's some kind of ridiculous, scientific bullshit or an unstated law or something. That much I can tell you is true.

Anyway, back to the eye gazing thing. Personally, I am not going to stare into anyone's eyes thinking that I could possibly find my soul mate. I know my luck. The asshole would be jobless, still living with mom, and driving a rusted-out '76 Gremlin. Lucky me.

The morals of the story are:
1. Superman, Mr. Right, and your "soul mate" hang out with Santa and the Easter bunny.
2. Don't try this "eye -gazing" thing with beer goggles on.
3. Congratulations to the Pitsburgh Steelers.

More about 'eye-gazing here and here.


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