A Mind is a Terrible Thing

How'd you like to arm wrestle this guy?

2010-01-26T22:53:00.003-07:00

Matthias Schlitte is a German professional arm wrestler. This is a good thing because I'm pretty sure he would get some serious jacked up looks working at Home Depot. I'm pretty sure he has gotten a bazillion double takes and if you didn't know his profession...your mind might go to a very bad place. I'll leave it at that. Ouch.
Matthias Schlitte

Happy Birthday Kiefer!!!

2009-12-21T00:05:00.002-07:00

Happy Birthday to Kiefer William Fredrick Dempsey George Rufus Sutherland.

Brittany Murphy Died

2009-12-20T22:36:00.003-07:00

Brittany Murphy died today from an apparent cardiac arrest. This just shocked me beyond belief. I have always loved her from way back in Freeway and Clueless to Just Married and Little Black Book. It was kind of weird how her career was just skyrocketing and then she got married to some dude...a lot people thought was pretty shady...and she just kind of disappeared from the spotlight. According to TMZ, Brittany's husband did not want an autopsy performed. She was 32. TMZ

Former boyfriend Ashton Kutcher immediately twittered, "2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine. My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany's family, her husband, & her amazing mother, Sharon."

Bring out your Dead

2009-12-17T17:31:00.004-07:00

What in the hell has Pricilla Presley done to herself? She used to be such a beautiful woman. After viewing this picture...I suddenly feel anemic and very weak. She's could easily walk onto the set of True Blood and scare the living shit out of everyone.
Wenn.com

Iron Man 2 Trailer

2009-12-17T16:31:00.003-07:00

Modern Family "Lilly Get's locked in the Car"

2009-12-17T13:01:00.011-07:00

Now it's time for something a little lighthearted. My new weekly pleasure is watching Modern Family. Outside of Curb Your Enthusiasm, I have never seen a comedy that has me literally laughing so hard that I'm in tears. This is from one of my favorite episodes. Enjoy!

Woman of the Decade!!! Elin Nordegren

2009-12-17T12:23:00.007-07:00

One day after Tiger Woods was called "Douchebag of the Decade". I mean "athlete", Tiger's wife tells ABC news she is done with his ass! Good for her for not taking the family....money...Kobe "house on a ring" route. Class act. She will be just fine. Oh, and very rich.

A source close to Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, told ABC News.com Wednesday that a "divorce is 100 percent on."
Nordegren, a 29-year-old former model, was recently photographed without her wedding ring.
"It would not appear that Elin Nordegren is going to be standing by her man," Kate Coyne, senior editor at People Magazine, told "Good Morning America." "Sources have told us that Elin has told us this marriage is over and she is looking to divorce."
"She's not rushing to divorce, however," the source told ABCNews.com. "She's going to take her sweet time. She wants all the dirty laundry to be out on the table before she signs anything."
The dark clouds of divorce reports swept in on what was an ever-so-brief moment of positive press for Woods when The AP named him the Athlete of the Decade Wednesday.

ABC News

Dexter Season 4 Finale!!!

2009-12-17T12:03:00.010-07:00

This was the best season finale of all time!
All I have to say about this is...HOLY HELL!!!

Ochocinco's Emotional Reaction to Chris Henry's Death

2009-12-17T11:30:00.002-07:00

Bengals Receiver Chris Henry Dies

2009-12-17T10:58:00.008-07:00

A star wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals, Chris Henry, has died. Wow. This Bronco fan sends the love. My heart goes out to this man's family, friends, Bengal fans and his teammates. Just tragic. He's been through a lot in his young life and it's just heart wrenching to see a person who had gotten on the right path have tragedy strike in such a horrible way. Hopefully his children and the rest of his family can find strength during this time. Godspeed.

CHARLOTTE, N.C. -- Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry has died, one day after falling out of the back of a pickup truck in what authorities described as a domestic dispute with his fiancee. Charlotte-Mecklenburg police said Henry died at 6:36 a.m. Thursday. Henry was 26. More at ESPN.

If I Had a Hammer

2009-11-03T18:27:00.010-07:00

Dexter is totally awesome this season. Enjoy episode 6!

24 - Season 8 Trailer!

2009-11-03T18:12:00.000-07:00

Suck it Philly!

2009-07-18T21:14:00.001-06:00

24 Episode 9 - This season is rocking!!!

2009-02-18T18:03:00.003-07:00

Via Hulu

Another Reason Not to Listen to Rush Limbaugh

2009-02-16T16:56:00.005-07:00

Blah, blah, Stimulus package, blah, blah. Liberal, Socialism, Communist, blah, blah. Time to impeach, blah, blah.

Well, now it's time for everybody to get their tin foil hats on because the Obama Administration is making it so we will never know what is in the Stimulus package. Why, you ask? Well, according to Rush Limbaugh, they put it into a PDF file so you can't search for anything. Therefore, making it impossible to know what is in there. They are hiding it all from us! Those Bastards!!!

I have been working with .pdf files for the last 15 years. WTF? When the hell did .pdf files become so damn hard to use. It has to be some kind of far-left liberal conspiracy. Especially considering when you open the file up, there is this cute little "find" box so you can sift through the file a little easier. I did it all by myself in order to get to the Healthcare info.

Get a grip Rush, take one of your pills and calm the fark down. It's going to be a long haul for you.

Here is the Stimulus bill for the morons who can't use Google either.

Via Media Matters

Looking for something to do on Valentines Day?

2009-02-11T12:49:00.004-07:00

Are you tired of spending money on your significant other on flowers, candy and a candlelight dinner? Well, a Michigan Zoo has just the thing for you. For $50.00 you can go on a special excursion to watch all of the animals have sex. Yes, what's more romantic than seeing a couple of primates go at it.

Frankly, I think a woman would be happier with a toaster, but believe it or not, they are all sold out. But, there is a waiting list. So sign up now!

BATTLE CREEK, Mich. (NEWSCHANNEL 3) - Chocolate and flowers are nice, but this Valentine's Day why not take your honey for a walk on the wild side?

"We're going to talk about animal reproduction, the different animals here at Binder Park Zoo and their little quirks, different things that get them going to help them reproduce," said Jenny Parnett of Binder Park Zoo.

It's a Valentine's Day date that's sure to ruffle some feathers.

Binder Park Zoo says love birds are flocking to sign up for the Zoorotica program. From frolicking frogs to the love-lives of leopards, this will give you an intimate look at animal mating rituals. More

Tha Barack Dude

2009-02-03T14:39:00.003-07:00

I saw this guy do an interview with Cavuto and he was spot on.

You tube

Good Times for David after the Dentist

2009-02-03T14:33:00.004-07:00

You tube

The Doc is Out

2009-01-27T14:26:00.008-07:00

This episode of Frazier is super funny!

Yahoo

FOX FEAR AND BALANCED

2009-01-27T13:56:00.004-07:00

Last week comedians stated they won't have any material to go off of with GW out of the White House. Well, that didn't last long. FOX News has stepped in to pick up the slack. Two days into Obama's Presidency...Fox - Fear and Balanced...freaks the fuck out!

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Fox News Fear Imbalance

Daily Show Full Episodes
Daily Show Tickets

Feces-throwing monkey on the loose

2009-01-15T09:29:00.002-07:00

Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Tampa Bay

Beware. some headlines just write themselves.

CLEARWATER, Fla. (AP) - Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Tampa Bay. Authorities have been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.
Gary Morse with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says the adult male is thought to have escaped from an unlicensed source. It was last seen in Clearwater.
The monkey is not considered dangerous.

Brietbart Image from photobucket

Taking Chance

2009-01-14T11:05:00.006-07:00

Keep your calendar open for the premiere of this film on HBO, Saturday February 21st., 2009. It is premiering at Sundance on January 16th. It looks phenomenal.

It serves as a constant reminder to always remember those who have fought and are fighting for our Freedom, and the need to prey for those now to come home safely. God Bless.

Our good friends over at SlashFilm have discovered the trailer for an upcoming Sundance film called Taking Chance starring Kevin Bacon. There are usually a few Iraq war based films that always show up at Sundance but never go far, because audiences (for some odd reason) just never connect with them. While Taking Chance is related to the Iraq war, it definitely seems interestingly unique. Based on real-life events, the film follows Lt. Col. Michael Strobl (Bacon), a volunteer military escort officer, as he accompanies the body of 19-year-old Marine Chance Phelps back to his hometown of Dubois, Wyoming.

If you need any more convincing, we'll let Geoffrey Gilmore, Sundance's Director, explain why this is a film to keep your eyes on: "You might presume that yet another film about the war in Iraq couldn’t possibly reveal anything new… But you would be wrong. Taking Chance is without question one of the most powerful and vital films ever made about Iraq — or, for that matter, the military — and yet its potency comes not from melodramatic or political statements but simply from its reality and execution."

Via First Showing

24 Season Premiere

2009-01-12T13:58:00.003-07:00

Last nights premeire was worth the wait. I am convinced Tony is undercover and that he is not a bad guy now. I guess I will have to wait and see if I am correct.

Just out of curiosity, I went to the FOX website to see if they had the Tony Almeida character from Season 5 with a big red DECEASED stamp over his name. They did not. They did however have one over Jack's???

Is Jack Bauer not the real Jack Bauer? I don't remember him dying in Season 5. I think FOX's website is a little whacked.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead...it just pisses him off!

If you missed the premiere, you can watch it now on FOX's main site.

For my girl Gail!!! It's Sanjaya!!!

2009-01-11T14:59:00.004-07:00

This is for my good friend Gail. She has always been there for me so it's the least I can do. She is going to be sooooo excited that Sanjaya has come out with his first album! He is even going to release his memoir. It should be full of all kinds of whacky stories about pillow fights and make up tips. I bet he might even give us some good advice on hair care products.

Gail wore that faux-hawk for weeks protesting when Sanjaya was kicked off of American Idol. That crazy girl. All the other kids parents thought she was a total freak, but Gail didn't care. She would just yell back at them "you just don't understand Sanjaya! Asshats". Then she would break down in tears. Again.

Remember that little girl just sobbing over Sanjay singing? Gail was just like that. Week in and week out. It was rough but we got through it. Now all of her dreams have come true. Here's the video of that little girl, which has nothing on Gail.

The First 17 Minutes of 24

2009-01-11T14:02:00.007-07:00

If you can't wait for tonight, you can get a peek now. I cannot wait!!!

Kiefer finally gets his star

2009-01-10T15:57:00.005-07:00

Kiefer Sutherland became the 2,377th recipient of a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on December 9th in a Los Angeles ceremony. The actor was accompanied by a group of guests, including his famous father Donald Sutherland.

Via Kiefer-rocks

Bikers with big hearts

2009-01-10T15:19:00.008-07:00

Their Needs to be more Badasses like these guys in the world!

A group of tattooed bikers rescued 180 stranded kittens yesterday afternoon, as part of their ‘in your face’ approach to animal rights activism. They call themselves Rescue Ink.

The cats were all living in a single house in Moriches, New York, that is currently facing foreclosure. When the bikers heard about the soon-to-be homeless cats, they rushed to the scene. Today they begin the task of rescuing and rehabilitating the 180 felines, a job that will take about a week. In their mission statement, they profess their dedication to protecting animal rights: "We will stop at nothing within the bounds of the law to protect animals at risk. We will intercede without hesitation when we are informed of a situation that needs to be addressed, and we will address it. If we need to convince people to do the right thing ... we can be very convincing, we'll even buy animals if that's what it takes to get them away from abusers."
Source

NY Times
Myspace

Who is more stoned in this photo?

2006-01-27T17:01:00.000-07:00

gossiprocks

Crazy Rhonetta Johnson on American Idol

2006-01-27T14:20:00.000-07:00

Via dlisted

Rocky Should Fight This Guy

2006-01-27T13:39:00.000-07:00

This is one big dude. He looks lie Sasquatch. This would make another Rocky movie a little more entertaining to watch. The guy he was fighting must have crapped himself.

Valuev himself strode into the gym recently during his triumphant return to Russia after the title bout, in which he defeated American John Ruiz on a controversial decision in Berlin to become the tallest (7 feet) and heaviest (323 pounds) world champion in history. He's so big he usually steps into the ring over the top rope … so big that the adolescent pugilists at the Stepashkin Club would have barely been able to land a hook as high as his belly, if they had the nerve to try. More.

Brokeback Maverick

2006-01-26T15:40:00.000-07:00

Hilarious! Dlisted

Kenny Chesney is not Gay!

2006-01-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

Well, now, the jig is up for Kenny, thanks to Paula Jackson. The Southwest Airlines flight attendant, age 47, announced to a plane load of people last week that she had been Chesney’s lover for 10 years before he met and married Zellweger.

“I taught him everything he knows,” the charming Jackson told her passengers, one of whom was yours truly. “Renee should have called me, I would have told her, there’s no way he should be married.” more.

Well, there you have it! That will put all those nasty rumors to rest. He is most definitely NOT sleeping with Peyton Manning, that's for sure. Phew! I'm glad this was all cleared up! It's even more set in stone because she "taught him everything he knows." Ugh, you mean about being with a woman. This is getting even more confusing.

Bits and Pieces

2006-01-26T14:05:00.000-07:00

Pissing on rock stars is the new black!
Warning!!! May cause nausea. Click here for the complete list of movie sequels and remakes.
This guy is a total dumbass! Oh, and most likely unemployed.
This ought to piss Cameron Diaz off. Everything else does.
Those Congo soccer fans are crazy!

Kiefer's Downward Spiral...Again

2006-01-26T11:03:00.000-07:00

My man must be looking for new material for the next time he goes on Letterman. Last month there was the Christmas tree incident, and now this. Come on Kiefer, your making it harder and harder for me to have this insane, mad crush on you. Jack Bauer will have to save Kiefer from himself in season six.

“24” STAR Kiefer Sutherland shocked staffers at the Ye Rustic Inn in Los Feliz, Calif., the other morning when he bellied up to the bar around 9 a.m. demanding to start a tab, reports Steppin’ Out magazine. Editor Chaunce Hayden says the normally thick-waisted Sutherland looked “rail-thin” when he entered the tiny dive bar with a group of rowdy pals and ordered a round of drinks.
According to witnesses, when presented with the bill, Sutherland claimed his wallet was “indisposed” - “It’s been stolen! I promise I’ll come back and pay.”
At that point, things got weird. “He started to go into a series of karate kicks in the middle of the floor while the bartender, waitress and several customers looked on,” Hayden reports. Thankfully, a star-struck fan agreed to buy him several J&B’s on the rocks. After devouring a plate of chicken wings and littering the floor with bones, the star left without tipping. Sutherland, it turns out, was winding down from a very long night at the Drawing Room across the street. A rep for Sutherland did not respond to a call for comment.

Defamer via Dlisted

Is this cheating?

2006-01-25T16:53:00.000-07:00

Brad and Angelina Looking Like A Couple

2006-01-25T16:23:00.000-07:00

They are finally acting like a couple. And, do I say *gasp* holding hands of all things. They look really happy.

And, a picture of the bump including one of many of Angelina's tatoos.

gossiprocks

Richard Simmons on "Who's line is it anyways?"

2006-01-25T14:43:00.000-07:00

This is my favorite video. It is just hysterical!

R.I.P. Chris Penn

2006-01-25T13:59:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES -- Actor Chris Penn, brother of Sean Penn, was found dead Tuesday at a condominium near the beach in Santa Monica, police said.

Police said they discovered the 40-year-old actor's body around 4 p.m. Lt. Frank Fabrega said there were no obvious signs of foul play.
msn

It was very sad to hear about this today. I have always loved his acting. My favorite movie of all time is "True Romance" and he was great in that.

Find Your "Soul Mate"

2006-01-24T16:46:00.000-07:00

The newest dating trend is to host or attend "eye gazing" parties in order to find your soul mate. You begin with a quick introduction and then you stare at someone else's eyes for three minutes. And, whammo...if your lucky, you find your true love.

Now, I don't really believe in this whole notion. In fact, I'm pretty sure I don't believe in love at first site either. I'm also pretty sure that when you finally have sparks fly and get romantically involved with the man of your dreams, after knowing him for years and years, having everything in common...you're pretty much fucked. It seems so right at the time and the whole world is filled with puppies and unicorns and all that lovey-dovey stuff. Ah, what a feeling!

But, just when you think think you've found "Mr. Right", it's all total bullshit...especially if the damn Broncos lost the AFC Championship game and alcohol was involved on that particular day. Somehow, that nullifies all the events of the previous day as if they had never happened. Kind of like the way Superman can turn back time by flying around the earth and erase events and change outcomes. It's some kind of ridiculous, scientific bullshit or an unstated law or something. That much I can tell you is true.

Anyway, back to the eye gazing thing. Personally, I am not going to stare into anyone's eyes thinking that I could possibly find my soul mate. I know my luck. The asshole would be jobless, still living with mom, and driving a rusted-out '76 Gremlin. Lucky me.

The morals of the story are:
1. Superman, Mr. Right, and your "soul mate" hang out with Santa and the Easter bunny.
2. Don't try this "eye -gazing" thing with beer goggles on.
3. Congratulations to the Pitsburgh Steelers.

More about 'eye-gazing here and here.

Dominic Monaghan and Evangeline Lilly are rumored to be engaged

2006-01-24T16:10:00.000-07:00

Two stars from Lost may have found everlasting love.

The buzz is that Dominic Monaghan and Evangeline Lilly are reportedly engaged. According to ContactMusic.com, Dom popped the question to Evie on the Hawaii set of their series last week. Her answer? "Yes, yes, yes!"
dailyblabber.

Kevin Federline is a Tool

2006-01-20T17:32:00.000-07:00

I love the way he mastered that ONE button on the mixing board. I wonder how many total tracks are on the album other than this...PopoZao? I can hardly wait for the rest. Too bad I poked my eardrum out with a fork after 40 seconds of this.

Via Fark.

Joke of the Day

2006-01-20T17:06:00.000-07:00

Ironically this photo is titled "The Fall of Man"

(c. 1570) Titian (c. 1480-1576) Canvas, 240x186 cm.

Prado Museum, Madrid.

Women

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Sundance Starts

2006-01-20T16:37:00.000-07:00

The stars flock to Utah for the Sundance Film Festival. I have to admit this would be quite a party to take in someday. The opening movie was "Friends with Money", starring, Joan Cusack, Jennifer Aniston, and Catherine Keener.

Watch the trailer.

Eminem Marries...Again

2006-01-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

Eminem tied the knot for the second time to his high school sweetheart that he sang about killing. Awww...wedded bliss. For some reason though she looks like a 40 year old tranny and he looks like a twelve year old school boy. Just sayin'.

Apparently Eminems grandma is not very pleased with this union.

She fumes, "Boy, has he made a big mistake. No pre-nup or nothing."

"She'll take everything and leave. Kim is a nasty, mean woman."

"We've never been anything but nice to her but she's turned Marshall against us. I think she's very controlling."

contactmusic

Southern Fried Rabbit (Uncensored)

2006-01-20T14:15:00.000-07:00

The 1953 short in which Bugs discovers Yosemite Sam blown to smithereens by his own ill-tended to meth lab. Well, you explain Yosemite Sam without bathtub crank. Actually Friz Freleng’s Southern Fried Rabbit is now aired only edited for fear that it might warp the tender children of today because Bugs disguises himself as both Jim Crow and Uncle Tom to mess with Yosemite Sam’s head. That the Loony Toons gang were goofing on shitty racial stereotypes instead of perpetuating them is evidently something Warner Brothers is afraid the kids of today are too dim to catch.

screenhead.

Bring on Sunday!!!

2006-01-20T13:52:00.000-07:00

That is all.

Tony Danza Sexiest Grandparent?

2006-01-20T12:34:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK (AP) - Tony Danza is sexier than Harrison Ford. Sexier than Paul Newman and sexier than Pierce Brosnan. In fact, Grand magazine has declared Danza the Sexiest Celebrity Grandparent of 2006.

Editorial director Christine Crosby says Danza "epitomizes today's passionate, funny, devoted grandparent, and he's cute, too."

Ford, Newman and Brosnan were among the runners up, along with Tina Turner, Goldie Hawn, Whoopi Goldberg and Priscilla Presley.
9news

Who voted on this? And, for Pete's sake!!!! Kiefer dammit!

Star Jones Gets Political

2006-01-20T11:16:00.000-07:00

Star Jones needs to drink a big, tall glass of STFU in regards to pretty much any topic I can think of. I'm completely out of the loop when it comes to politics apparently. I was convinced that Star Jones was a @#$%& terrorist. Still am actually.

STAR JONES: TERROR WAR BATTLE OF BUSH, BIN LADEN EGOS
Fri Jan 20 2006
09:38:00 ET

Star Jones has told viewers that the war on terror is nothing more than a clash of male egos between President Bush and Osama bin Laden, the NEW YORK POST reports.

Yesterday, the co-host of ABC's THE VIEW told viewers during a discussion of bin Laden's latest audio tape:

"You know what? At some point, one of these men has to put it back in his pants and zip up the zipper."

She even suggested that Bush hold some kind of talk with the man behind 9/11.

"I won't trust him, but anything that gives me the opportunity to seek peace, I would at least check it out.

"People make deals with the devil all the time. We make deals with people we don't like," she said.

"You don't negotiate with terrorists," said Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the show's youngest host.

"You don't negotiate," Jones interrupted, "but I do think you figure out when there is a solution that's diplomatic that doesn't result in [loss of] human life.

"What do we have to lose to check it out?" Star said.

"You know what?" she then added, "At some point, one of these men has to put it back in his pants and zip up the zipper at some point."

"This isn't somebody whipping it out," shot co-host Meredith Vieira.

"You know what, I'm a little tired of posturing back and forth," Jones replied.

Story Drudge. Photo Galleryoftheabsurd.

I'm Back!!!

2006-01-12T17:48:00.000-07:00

It's been a bit longer than I intended. Now, I am back for more fun and useless crap.

Is Angelina Pregnant?

2006-01-06T16:58:00.000-07:00

Angelina Jolie Pregnancy Frightens Brad Pitt
By Jennifer CoxJan 5, 2006

Is anyone really certain if Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad Pitt's baby? P-I reporter J.D. Marshall says E! Online's Ted Casablanca has the skinny.

The dirt, Angie should be getting more plump with a bump. And the 'Jesse James' star reportedly is frightened to give the information to Jen-ex.

Ted Casablanca, gossipsnitch of E! Online, reports that there is no doubt that Angelina Jolie is indeed with love-child via Brad Pitt. But any public confirm of the Lipsmacker's pregnancy is stalled, awaiting Mr. Brad's revelation of said tummy state to ex-wife Jennifer Aniston. "He's scared," a Bradfriend tattles.

Well, ain't it about time to fess up and face the baby lullaby.
nationalledger Photos from jjb.
It looks to me like she is hiding a bump. Every photo of her lately has her holding something in front of her tummy. In the photo with Zahara, she definitely looks pregnant.

Obsolete Tara

2006-01-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

galleryoftheabsurd

Star Jones is out of her mind!

2006-01-06T10:50:00.000-07:00

Warning:
The following post may cause diarrhea, vomiting, and psychological trauma.

Good grief I've heard it all now. Star Jones is going to be giving people relationship and sex advice. That would be like taking sobriety lessons from Pete Dougherty. She gets into all the lovey-dovey details about her and Big Gay Al's love life. Here's a little snippet about when they first met:

At a party on Nov. 13, 2003, a man took my arm and said, "You're not just going to pass me by." This man with skin the color of cooked butter, the most beautiful lips and the deepest brown eyes on the planet continued, "I saw you once at a party five years ago and was too hesitant to approach you, but I'm braver this time." I was charmed out of my wits. I looked into those chocolate eyes, and I literally heard a bell ring...just like my mother said it would.

That was not a bell, Star. It was your gaydar beeping out of control. Dumbass!

However, things are heating up for Miss Jones Reynolds, who starting Monday is also going to be the new "love coach" for AOL, where she will dispense advice about a range of sexy subject matter that contributes to her shining lifestyle.

"I'm not an advice columnist. I'm not a diet specialist," she says. "I'm pretty good at love and romance because my husband and I have that down to a science, which is probably why I'm the new AOL love coach. Isn't that hot?"
Um. No

She's online for workshops on how to shine in the bedroom. "It's not about me, me, me, me, me. It's not about Star puts her right leg over her left shoulder and that's what makes her sexy," she says. "It might be kind of hot, but it wouldn't make me sexy."
WTF? Did she really just say her "right leg over her left shoulder". The thought of getting bedroom advice from her makes me want to wretch. Not to mention the visual I am having which is completely wrong on so many levels.

More of this crap here and here. Oh, and she's on 20/20 tonight if you want more.

The Milkshake Dance

2006-01-06T09:48:00.000-07:00

A preview from "Date Movie". This looks really funny. I especially liked "Jello" the wedding planner.

RIP Lou Rawls

2006-01-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES - Lou Rawls, the velvet-voiced singer who started as a church choir boy and went on to sell more than 40 million albums and win three Grammy Awards in a career that spanned nearly five decades and a range of genres, has died, his publicist said. He was 72.

Rawls died early Friday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where he was hospitalized last month for treatment of lung and brain cancer, his publicist Paul Shefrin said. His wife Nina was at his bedside when he died, Shefrin said. The family and Shefrin said Rawls was 72, although other records indicate he was
70.
msnbc

Is wedding off for Cruise and Holmes?

2006-01-05T16:04:00.000-07:00

Hold off on buying that first edition of "Dianetics" as a wedding present for Tom Cruise and his pregnant fiancée, Katie Holmes.

The buzz is that the engagement of the happy couple has hit a few bumps and, after reportedly tense holidays spent at Holmes’ house, wedding plans may have been put on hold.

With a new year beginning, Cruise “decided to take the opportunity to mend fences with the family of his fiancée, Katie Holmes,” according to the upcoming issue of Life & Style Weekly. It didn’t go so well.
Well, color me surprised. If I was her parents I would have locked her in her room until she was 80. I Being the beard to this fruitcake is just plain nuts. Now, she will forever be connected to him due to the little turkey baster incident.

There are so many things that crack me up about this illustration...I wouldn't even know where to start. It's perfect.

Story from msnbc. Illustration from Todd Umbarger here.

Congrats Longhorns!!!

2006-01-05T11:57:00.000-07:00

That game was awesome! The best I've ever seen. I was pretty sure that I was going to have a heart attack towards the end of the game, but I had another beer and made it through.

Vince Young is a class act! He had so much poise. I actually wanted some of what he was on to calm me down near the end of the game.

Whiny baby didn't really understand what losing meant.

"I think we were the better football team, but they just made the big plays." -Matt Leinart

Hook 'em Horns!!!!!!

Gotta Love it!

2006-01-04T17:35:00.000-07:00

Kiefer, Kiefer, Kiefer

2006-01-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

20-FLOORED AND IF YOU THINK YOU MADE A FOOL OF YOURSELF LAST NIGHT...

Movie heart-throb Kiefer, 39, who stars in the hit thriller series 24, was laid flat-out on his back on the floor of a hotel lobby after a marathon booze bender with pals.

Moments earlier Sunday Mirror reporters watched in amazement as he charged into a 12ft Christmas tree, sending it crashing to the floor. The party was finally called off at 5.30am by hotel security - when guests starting arriving for BREAKFAST.

Filled with a little too much festive spirit, Kiefer pulled Emily towards him to show off his latest tattoo - a string of mystic symbols on the inside of his forearm.

"Sit down and take a look," he slurred. "It says 'I trust you to kill me'. It's the name of Rocco's new album. To me that also means 'F**k you' - there's a lot of disrespect bound up in it."

At 2am bar staff refused to serve any more alcohol. Undaunted, Kiefer persuaded management to let them loose in the lobby.

He ordered yet more booze on room service, then staggered around the entrance hall, entertaining pals with a bizarre, flailing breakdancing routine.

It was then that a huge Christmas tree caught his eye.
"I hate that f***ing Christmas tree," he declared. "The tree HAS to come down."

Kiefer warned staff: "I'm smashing it - can I pay for it?"

A staff member replied: "I'm absolutely sure you can, sir."

Still up for some banter, he lurched up to Australian-born reporter Michael Duffy, shaking him violently by the hand.

He repeatedly addressed him as "You f***ing Aussie c**t". He kissed Michael's close-shaven head before grabbing Emily's hand and stroking her shoulder.

"Oh don't go, don't go," begged Kiefer, now single after splitting from his long-term lover, artist Catherine Bisson, last year. "I've got a crush on you."

When she declined his advances, he stumbled along the halls of the hotel's eighth floor - before eventually finding the door that fitted his key and calling it a night. mirror via superficial.

Oh brother. You can read the entire article here. I just included a few excerpts. Actually, I would have given anything to see Kiefer get all "Jack Bauerish" on a twelve foot Christmas tree. And, for the "bizarre, flailing breakdancing routine," forget about it. Please tell me photos will soon appear from this little fiasco. At least he's still polite when he's shitfaced. Most people don't offer to pay for something their destroying before they do it. Gotta love ya Kiefer!

Photo from kieferrocks.

Hook'em Horns!!!

2006-01-04T13:34:00.000-07:00

University Of Texas alum MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY and former University Of Southern California student WILL FERRELL will fight it out during a US TV ad which will air before the two American football teams meet in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California later today (04JAN05).
contactmusic Photos via JJB.
Go Texas!

Vegas Baby...Vegas

2006-01-04T13:26:00.000-07:00

For an unconfirmed couple, Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn sure get around. According to a report from The Las Vegas Review Journal, the pair slipped out of their California hotel hideaway long enough for a ‘Sin City’ trip to Las Vegas.

According to a report in the Las The couple was apparently in Sin City to celebrate 2006, and according to the Review Journal, they rang in the New Year at Mandalay Bay's Forty Deuce. Reports also say Jen actually took the stage at the notorious burlesque bar Sunday, performing a special dance for Vince.

Nationalledger

Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen call it quits

2006-01-04T13:14:00.000-07:00

Lawyers for both sides filed legal papers today, asking that the case be handled in private arbitration.

Lawyers for both sides filed legal papers today. More

A Little More Cowbell

2006-01-03T17:14:00.000-07:00

Some much needed humor. Always a classic! Watch the video here.

Star and Big Gay Al go to the beach

2006-01-03T16:03:00.000-07:00

I don't even know where to begin with this picture. For starters, I think it should be illegal for Star to be giving it to Big Gay Al in public like that. We all know what Big Gay Al likes...but, do we have to see it? Bleh!

After viewing this photo...I may be able to achieve my New Years, weight loss, resolution after all. I lost most of my lunch.

gossiprocks

Nicole's New Years Resolution?

2006-01-03T14:54:00.000-07:00

Nicole Ritchie has officially morphed into a 4 year old boy. Not a very good look. I think she is the only "woman" to ever have the problem of her bathing suit being too "baggy". Good grief girl...eat something. She somehow manages to fall out of her bikini top too. It must be because there's nothing to hold the top in place. I sure hope her New Years resolution is to fit into this bathing suit.

At least she hasn't been entered into the celebrity dead pool yet. Soon though.

gossiprocks

Sean Lennon is looking for love

2005-12-31T11:48:00.000-07:00

John Lennon's son Sean wants a girlfriend for the New Year.

The songwriter claims he is "completely miserable" and wants a beautiful woman who has a high IQ, is honest and between the ages of 18 and 45.

The 30-year-old also quipped she must have no psychological disorders or deformities.He told America's New York Post newspaper: "Any girl who is interested must simply be born female and between the ages of 18 and 45.

"They must have an IQ above 130 and they must be honest. They must not have any clinical, psychological disorders and a kind heart. Clearly beautiful - but beauty on the inside is more important - but no deformities, third legs, fifth nipples. femalefirst

I think he left out a very important part of his listing. I'm pretty sure he did it on purpose though. If he was to mention "Must get my mother's approval", that would scare the crap out of most of the female population. Not to mention, the girl would have to be under 18 and have a very low IQ, to not be thinking about that little tidbit.

Does this mean Clay Aiken is NOT gay?

2005-12-31T10:44:00.000-07:00

I'm still a little confused. jjb

Uh...Paris, I think there's a cream for that

2005-12-31T10:42:00.000-07:00

She is beyond gross!!! gossiprocks

Back to the Grind

2005-12-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone had a nice Holiday! For those of you who are not exactly ready to be back to work and have a little extra time on your hands, CBS is playing a few comedy shows for our enjoyment via Yahoo. You can watch two episodes of Two" and a Half Men" and "How I Met Your Mother,".

Works for me. Did anyone really want to go back to work and work? Nah, I didn't think so.

Watch the shows here.

Happy Holidays to All!

2005-12-23T16:37:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday. I will be partaking in the Raiders/Broncos game Saturday and having many, many beers. The rest of the time I will be doing a whole lot of nothing, which will be wonderful. Be back Tuesday. Go Broncos!!!

Kevin Federline is a Pig!

2005-12-23T16:26:00.000-07:00

Kevin tells Britney to divorce him
Britney Spears has told Kevin Federline he must give up marijuana, end the clubbing and drop hangers-on who are helping him spend her money. He hasn't agreed, telling her to go ahead and divorce him -- because he'll have plenty of money even if they part. He's also threatened to fight for custody of their son, Sean Preston, and to write a tell-all book about her. It's rumoured, too, he's been pestering former girlfriend Shar Jackson, mother of two of his children, to have him back. So far, she has refused. Britney is described as being in emotional turmoil and being propped up by her mother and brother as divorce papers are prepared. It's estimated she's spent nearly $10 million US on Kevin, counting the cost of their mansion, a recording studio, clothes, golf gear, flashy cars and bills he's run up. His take, if they part, will be about $2.5 million.
Source

Celebrity Holiday Greetings

2005-12-23T16:11:00.000-07:00

jjb

Tony Dungy's son dead at 18

2005-12-22T16:32:00.000-07:00

LUTZ, Fla - James Dungy, the 18-year-old son of Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy, was found dead of an apparent suicide in his Tampa-area apartment early Thursday, the sheriff's office said.

Indianapolis Colts president Bill Polian reacts to the tragic and sudden death of James Dungy, the 18-year-old son of head coach Tony Dungy. James Dungy's girlfriend found him when she returned to the Campus Lodge Apartments at about 1:30 a.m., Hillsborough County Sheriff's spokeswoman Debbie Carter said.

"Based on evidence at the scene, indications are that this death appears to be a suicide," Carter said. "There is no evidence to contradict that at this time."
Pretty sad situatuion. He has quite a unique myspace page. Raiders, dope, guns and gangsta rap stuff. Not sure what to think about all of this. It's a sad time for the Dungy family.

Story. James Dungy's myspace page here. Via Fark.

Santa Scares Me

2005-12-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

The Pope has a pretty evil looking grin going on here.

Pope Benedict XVI dons a red velvet Christmas hat with white ermine trim for his weekly general audience(AFP/Vincenzo Pinto)
yahoo

Kenny Chesney Single Again

2005-12-22T14:07:00.000-07:00

Renee Zellweger’s marriage to country crooner Kenny Chesney never existed — at least in the eyes of the law.

The couple’s union has been annulled by the Los Angeles Superior Court, according to documents obtained this week by the television show “Extra.” Publicists for Zellweger and Chesney did not return calls to The Associated Press on Wednesday.
msnbc

Kenny look at the bright side...football season is almost over. Soon Peyton will be all yours. First, the Broncos need to beat the Colts in the playoffs and then he will be done with football until next year. Maybe you can help us out with that. I meant, maybe he would enjoy your company. The Broncos don't need any help. I recommend hot oils and staying up really late having pillow fights the night before the AFC Championship game. Thanks.

The Prez all Liquored Up

2005-12-22T13:41:00.000-07:00

I guess I just never really noticed because I'm normally pretty blasted too. Sounds like everything is under control though...from what I could understand.

From The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson via ifilm.

Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson out on the town

2005-12-22T12:08:00.000-07:00

Good grief! He looks like an obnoxious pig and she looks totally baked. How classy to wear a wife beater out to dinner, Ala K-fed. Gee...wonder what the guy in the second pic is staring at. They belong together. Forever.

Source

Is Anyone Else Feeling Like This?

2005-12-21T14:27:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Kiefer!

2005-12-21T10:50:00.000-07:00

The sexiest man on the planet turns 39 today!

A Message from the Webmaster

2005-12-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

I have been really busy with this whole holiday rush thing, not to mention a head cold from hell...but now I am back and ready to post more useless crap for everyone's enjoyment.

Happy Holidays!

Poor Pooh

2005-12-09T14:13:00.000-07:00

They are taking Christopher Robin away from Winnie the Pooh and replacing him with a girl. Why do people always have to @#%! with things? It was fine for 8o years, just leave it alone. If they are going to change it...they could have put Pooh with Stan from South Park. That would be hot! The Walt Disney Company has decided to pair Pooh up with a red-haired six-year-old tomboy for its 2007 series, newspaper USA Today reported.

Preston Kevin Lewis, director of the Pooh franchise, told Reuters: "Trust, friendship and happiness - Pooh doesn't lose any of those things, it just changes how we talk about him."

But that is unlikely to please Pooh purists, who can point out that the original stories were written specifically for Milne's son, Christopher Robin Milne.

BBC

Dancing with the Stars 2

2005-12-09T13:40:00.000-07:00

I might have to watch this crap this year. I actually know who most of these people are. I really think it's sad to see Jerry Rice doing this though. I had read about this on deadspin, but I kind of didn't want to believe it. He should be doing ESPN or coaching, or something. He was the greatest Wide Receiver to play the game. Series premieres January, 5th on ABC.

Jerry Rice - Wide receiver
Tatum O'Neal - Oscar winning actress
George Hamilton - Tanned actor
Stacy Kiebler - WWE performer
Giselle Fernandez - Journalist
Romeo - Hip-Hop artist
Tia Carrere - Actress
Kenny Mayne - ESPN correspondent
Drew Lachey - Brother of Nick Lachey
Lisa Rinna - Former Soap star and current Soapnet host

Source dlisted

Brokeback Mountain is finally here!

2005-12-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

I cannot wait to see this movie. Unfortunately, for me, I'll have to wait until after the holidays. If anyone sees it soon, let me know what you thought. This morning on GMA, Joel Siegel had this to say:

"Brokeback Mountain" may well be the most-nominated film this Oscar season. With nods for Michelle Williams for supporting actress, co-star Gyllenhaal and director Ang Lee. Ledger's my favorite to win Best Actor. Grade: A."

The ******* Holiday Party

2005-12-09T12:19:00.000-07:00

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4th November 2005
RE: Christmas Party:
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols ... please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the Managing Director shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The Managing Director will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Pauline

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th November 2005
RE: Holiday Party:
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, 'though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party' . The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Pauline.

FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th November 2005
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believes $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline.

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th November 2005
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food ... we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first.. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

Pauline.

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 8 November 2005
RE: The ******** Holiday Party.
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!! I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die.

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources
Director
DATE: 9th November 2005
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.

Thanks to Jeri for this one.

Please Go Away Mariah

2005-12-09T09:35:00.000-07:00

Dear Miss Carey,

Please go away. The very sight of you literally makes me want to puke up my spleen. You just had to make that comeback so that we would be forced to see you every day from now until the Grammy's. Thanks a lot.

First, you decide to make yourself look like such a charitable, caring person when you were photographed with a homeless guy. The very same homeless guy that did not want his picture taken with you. You also didn't even hand the guy ten bucks for a bottle of cheap brandy. Bitch.

Second, you have a great voice but you really should stick to singing. No one wants to hear you speak about anything. Especially, when you read Peter Pan to the kids, all the while pretending to know how to read. I don't think that you talk about anything other than yourself. In fact, I'm pretty sure you don't. When you do open your mouth, you say the stupidest crap like, "Butterflies are always following me, everywhere I go." Awww, that's really special. Does your little world consist of puppy dogs and unicorns? No wonder why you feel at home talking about Never, Never Land with the kids. Idiot.

Third of all, now you can't even drink for yourself? Does someone feed you and clean up after you when you use the...uh, restroom? By the look on this woman's face, I am guessing she is seriously considering the idea of stabbing you in the jugular vein with that straw. She literally looks like she would rather be standing at the Gates of Hell than to be doing whatever the hell her job is for you.

In conclusion, please consider me for the job opening left vacant by the woman seen in the following photos.

Sincerely,
Evie

Photos from jjb.

Bitchin' Christmas Light Show

2005-12-08T17:23:00.000-07:00

DEERFIELD TWP. — Sheriff's deputies asked the owner who lit up his house with 25,000 Christmas lights synched to music to turn off the display after a traffic accident Tuesday night.

Deerfield Twp. resident Carson Williams agreed to shut down his holiday decorations indefinitely.

Williams told a Cincinnati television station that sheriff's deputies could not reach the traffic accident because of the traffic lined up in his neighborhood. More

Source Video from ifilm

How Paris Hilton Stays Thin

2005-12-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

CHIP's Remake

2005-12-08T12:11:00.000-07:00

Swell. Huge surprise here. Yet another re-make of a cheesy 70's television show. To make matters worse, Wilmer Valderrama will be playing the role of "Ponch" which was made famous by Erik Estrada. Like he needs his ego to get any bigger.
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Wilmer Valderrama who plays Fez on "That '70s Show," will star as motorcycle cop Ponch in a big-screen version of "CHiPs."

Warner Bros. Pictures, which recently brought TV staples "Starsky & Hutch" and "The Dukes of Hazzard" to theaters with much success, has just acquired the rights for the series.
Yahoo

Nicole Ritchie and DJ AM Call it Quits

2005-12-08T11:34:00.000-07:00

I could not believe these two would be the next celebrity couple to end it. They always seemed so in love and happy. There wasn't even any signs of trouble with these them. They were photographed this week shopping for Christmas trees. There hasn't been much in the way of an explanation from either side. However, according to Perezhilton.com it was Adam's idea to end the relationship.
"Adam dumped Nicole," echoed our sources.

And while they were all able to agree on that, the cause of the split was divided into two camps.

"Adam was fed up with Nicole," said one source. "Her issues with her weight, I'm reluctant to say 'anorexia', caused her behavior to be very erratic and moody lately."

Another source said that Adam discovered some troubling news about his girlfriend.

"A.M. has a residency in Vegas, where he goes to spin every weekend," said the other source. "And, when the cat's away, the mouse will play. Adam found out that Nicole was 'partying' when he was away, and he does not tolerate that."

Regardless, the only two people who will ever know the real reason behind the split are Adam and Nicole. And, we wish them well, sincerely.
Perez

Eminem Back with Ex-wife

2005-12-08T11:23:00.000-07:00

Eminem and his estranged wife have reconciled and are considering getting married again. Either he has really grown up and they are truly meant for each other, or he is completly out of ideas for new lyrics and needs her as his muse.

After Kimberly tried to kill herself and was jailed for cocaine possession, Eminem gained custody of their daughter Haile Jade, now 10.

On last year's Encore album, he dedicated track Puke to his ex, calling her a "coke-head" and rapping: "I hope you die" and "Everytime I think of you, I puke."

And even before their divorce, Eminem sang on his track Kim of wanting her dead.
But it doesn't seem to have stopped the couple finding true love again.

The rapper, 33, went into drug rehab in August, claiming to be addicted to sleeping pills.
sky

Ten Reasons to Drink During the Holidays

2005-12-07T16:09:00.000-07:00

• You can tolerate your in-laws

• Beer goggles -- who said the holidays have to be lonely?

• Why eat your calories when you can drink them?

• You give the best gift...alcohol

• New Year's resolutions seem attainable when you're drunk

• You love everyone...and everyone loves you

• Be the funny guy at the party

• Drinking in winter means staying warm...or at least feeling like you are

• You bring spirit to the occasion, literally

• The holidays go by much quicker

forbes

Relaxing Work Environment

2005-12-07T15:52:00.000-07:00

I Should Be Dead By Now

2005-12-07T14:34:00.000-07:00

After viewing these pictures I am feeling like I should be dead now as well. Or, at least wishing I was.

What the hell is the matter with Dennis Rodman? He is like the weirdest SOB on the planet. If you look up Attention Whore in the dictionary there would be his picture right next to it.

Dennis Rodman showed up at for a book signing at the Hard Rock Hotel the other day like this. At another signing, he arrived in a hearse.

Also, last month while he was out promoting his book "I Should Be Dead By Now" he made an appearance on the Howard Stern show. He proceeded to tell a story about how he fulfilled a bride-to-be's request to be her last sexual encounter before marriage.

I'm sure her husband is thrilled to be taking STD meds on a monthly basis. If he only knew.

Apparently, a few years back Dennis was out carousing at the Mirage when he began partying heavily with one particular bachelorette group.

At the end of the evening, during the wee hours, Rodman found himself upstairs with the bride-to-be, fulfilling her request for one last sexual conquest before she tied the knot.

So if you are a bride to be, or a groom in waiting, and the Mirage is thrown around as a possible bachelorette party locale--look out.
Source

CU Coach Getting the Axe

2005-12-07T13:50:00.000-07:00

Hey, does this mean we really don't have to go play in that pesky bowl game against Clemson? I think last weeks 70-3 schlacking from Texas and losing at home to f*ckin Nebraska was enough punishment.

BOULDER - 9NEWS has learned the University of Colorado does not plan to bring head football coach Gary Barnett back next season.

The Buffs finished Barnett's 7th season with losses in three straight Big 12 games, quickly turning a 7-2 season into 7-5. In those last three games to Iowa State, Nebraska and Texas, CU lost by a combined score of 130-22.

The final two were the most embarrassing as both were on national TV and CU managed to score just 3 points in each game.

CU will play Clemson in the Champs Sports Bowl in Orlando on December 27.

9news

Another Hollywood Couple Calls It Quits

2005-12-07T12:54:00.000-07:00

TMZ has learned that actor Johnathon Schaech has filed for divorce from his wife, 'Married with Children' star Christina Applegate.The papers, filed today in Los Angeles Superior Court, cite irreconcilable differences as reason for the split.

TMZ has also learned that Schaech, the star of the film "That Thing You Do," is represented by high profile divorce attorney Laura Wasser.

Applegate, star of such films as "The Sweetest Thing" and "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy," was most recently seen starring on Broadway in "Sweet Charity."
tmz

Hmmm. Something about this seems a little strange to me. I always thought they were a great couple. He has always shot my gaydar off the charts and I read somewhere he was a closeted FOD. A little more dirt was revealed and there's a possibility she was cheating on him.

Is he Bi? Was she sleeping around? Both? Who knows? Her cheating on him just may be the case. He did this super fast and has got himself a badass attorney.

More dirt on this over at dlisted.

March Madness Free on the Net!

2005-12-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

Josh, your Christmas present has come early! Very cool! It looks like productivity in the workplace will take a major dive during the month of March. I will be able to see how crappy I'm doing in the pool in real time. Lucky me.

For two years, Manhattan athletic director Bob Byrnes is lucky to have heard alumni complaints. It was the natural frustration of graduates who couldn't make the trip to the basketball tournament to see the Jaspers play in person.

Instead, Manhattan fans had to catch the game on television in the middle of the day or, if out of market, pay for an internet broadcast or DirecTV.

"When you're in the tournament, people do all kinds of gymnastics to try and get the game," Byrnes said.

This year it all just got a little bit easier, especially for diehard fans who inexplicably decide to spend the day at work with NCAA March Madness' on Demand, a streaming webcast.

CBS had been offering the games online as part of a subscription, but this year the NCAA Tournament will be available for free at NCAAsports.com.
yahoo

Valerie Bertinelli Divorcing Eddie Van Halen

2005-12-07T10:32:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES - Valerie Bertinelli and her rock star husband, Eddie Van Halen, are divorcing after 24 years of marriage, Bertinelli’s publicist confirmed Tuesday.

“Yes, that’s true. They have been separated for four years and it’s amicable,” Bertinelli spokeswoman Heidi Schaeffer told The Associated Press. She said the actress would have no further comment.

A divorce petition that Bertinelli, 45, filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on Tuesday cited irreconcilable differences. msnbc
Ah, the good old days. I remember when Van Halen was the hottest band on the planet. Now, they are so desperate to find a lead singer, they are apparently following in Rock Star:INXS's footsteps. Sad.

The Circus is in Town!

2005-12-07T10:11:00.000-07:00

Holy hell! The circus would be far less traumatic on my eyes. This is from the Billboard Music Awards.

Pammy wouldn't look quite so yellow if she was photographed with the guy in the yellow sweater who is dressed as a golfer on crack. And, Gwen WTF is on your head and why did you wear your flippin bath robe? So, many questions.

Oh, and Carrot Top scares the shit out of me. I could not even imagine seeing his stand-up routine. I couldn't possibly think he is funny when I'm swallowing my whole Xanax bottle out of sheer terror.

gossiprocks

24 Season 5 Prequel!!!

2005-12-06T17:12:00.000-07:00

24 Season 4 DVD set comes out today. Just like last year, there is a 10 minute prequel in the disk set that contains some info as to what events took place between seasons. Since none of us want to wait, I took it upon myself to hunt it down. The link is a Spanish fansite and has subtitles in Spanish, but it was the only one I could find today. Scroll down to the bottom right. Click on the picture with Jack with gnarly long hair titled "Precuela Subtitulada". Enjoy!

Source 24la.net. Watch the video here!

Update
Warning: Please be aware that during a portion of this clip that Kiefer has a mullet. Yep, a mullet. It was quite frightening.

Amazon has a 35% off deal on Season 4. I'll probably pick my copy up this weekend.

Pop Quiz

2005-12-06T16:03:00.000-07:00

Which one of these things pictured weighs less:

a). The button on Nicole Ritchie's jacket
b). Nicole Richie's sunglasses
c). Nicole Ritchie

The correct answer is c...of course.

Angelina Gets Mobbed by the Paparazzi

2005-12-06T15:05:00.000-07:00

This would not be fun. If I were Angelina I'd move to Pakistan. These people are like rabid dogs.
(Dec. 6) -- Angelina Jolie was accosted by paparazzi photographers in New York City Monday night (Dec. 5) where she hosted a benefit gala for WITNESS, the international human rights group.

Jolie attempted to enter the event via a back door when she stopped to sign a few autographs. But the situation quickly got out of hand as several photographers surrounded her. Jolie even had to push a camera away from her face. More...

Watch the video.

Source tmz. Photo from jjb.